i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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