dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
