my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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