Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
