I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize