Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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