You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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