What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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