Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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