4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
