ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
