gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
