I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
