I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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