i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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