So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
