I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
