so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
