Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
be right there i have to get my cape
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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