I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
