He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize