One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
