; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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