you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
