I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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