Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
