Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
