Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
