office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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