i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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