Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i need some magic done to my vagina
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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