Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
