all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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