Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
