just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
