He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
