Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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