..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
