He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
