would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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