I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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