you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.