I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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