do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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