my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
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