Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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