I'm so fucking centered right now
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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