This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
