She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
MIDGETS
????
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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