Where is the hickey?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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