i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
