Say something about gay babies.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
