you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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