I hate your face
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
