your parents love me but you hate me
White coat. Heels.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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