he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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