mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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