its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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