google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
