you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
