Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
