My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
