I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
