Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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