why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
