i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
