Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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