IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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