i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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