Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
